Bologna Blog

HWJR?

How Would Jesus Run?

I went for a longish Saturday morning run today, in between the please make it stop raindrops. Felt great! 6 miles and 1,000 steps up the dreaded JBU stairs in the middle. Heading around the walking trail behind JBU, I met several folks, and became aware of the social awkwardness I was facing. Usually went something like this:

1) I see fellow runner/walker/skipper coming my way, from 100 yards

2) I look at my feet, then the side of the trail, then the other side, then glance at co-runner again, hoping for no eye contact

3) Getting closer! 30 yards, and look! a robin. i like robins, and this one’s racing me on foot–fast dude! then he flies. cheater.

4) 15 yards. OK, go time. I look at co-runners face and they look too. head nod or slight pained grin

5) We both immediately look at our feet again

So goofy! And way too much work. But a nice distraction. And that’s the trick when you’re running. The last thing you want to do is remember that you’re running! Scott Adams said it best in a recent blog post:

I enjoy music, in its place, but it adds a task to your brain when you’re probably already juggling at least two others. Personally, I’ve noticed that I can’t do a complex task, particularly writing, while music is playing. But music is great if I’m just going for a run because the extra mental task puts me into irrational mode, and I really need that to silence the rational part of my brain that keeps whispering “Nothing is chasing you. Stop running.”

I done got to thinkin’. How Would Jesus Run? When he went out for his early morning jog, I bet he didn’t plug into an iPod. Pretty sure, anyway. I bet he looked people in the eye and smiled real big, with big really white teeth. And not at exactly 13 yards away. Shoot, he probably ran like that the whole time. Not sure I can do that, but I thought I’d extend myself a little, and smile longer, look for eye contact a little more. You know, connect. But oh man does connecting have risks! Like, I’m sure Jesus’ fellow joggers thought he was a major creepo most of the time. Who smiles and looks people in the eye from 100 yards away, for more than 2 seconds? Weird! Anyway, the results of my test:

Subject A: Caught my eye way far away, then looked down, then right back up to my big ol’ goofy grin. Big smile back and a for-real out loud “howdy!” Win!

Subject B: 100 yards away: no eye contact, looking down, angry at his running shoes. 50, 25, 5 yards: no change. I went for it: “Hey!” He glanced up at me, startled with the frown still on. He probably was fighting a charlie horse, whatever that is.

Subject C: I don’t know, because I passed a transformer box thing, and saw this:

For all that is holy what, sweet baby Moses, is that? I actually stopped (co-runner ran by) and laughed nervously. How am I gonna break this terrifying news to Sage?

“Hey buddy, I have something really important to tell you.”

“Yes, Daddy?”

“OK. Um, you see, when a man and a woman love each other…oh wait, no. The other tough discussion…Er, there are green boxes all over our town that house giant electrical monsters of death.”

“Daddy sometimes you are funny but now you’re not.”

“Oh, uh, haha yeah–just a little joke, son. Um. Go play.”

Just keep smiling, folks. Keep smiling and the electrical monsters aren’t real, and people will think you’re creepy–right before they think you’re something really great. And they think maybe they’re something great, too.